Ode to a Focus

Goodbye Focus. You were always so good to me and without you, I would have never gotten to where I am today (literally). Thank you for all of the good times, for never failing me when I needed you and for never causing me too much trouble in terms of maintenance and upkeep. We all have our flaws- yours included a broken rear window, a key lodged in the trunk keyhole, a malfunctioning A/C system and all sorts of leaks and wear and tear. You always looked young and hip, despite having a few miles on you before I got you. Lord knows I put on my fair share of miles after I got you. As for me, I wasn’t the best to you. I should have washed you more. I should have paid better attention when you needed more oil or fluids. It took me two months to replace one of your windshield wipers and looking back on it now, I wish I had taken you for a few more joy rides. You never complained that I pounded on the dashboard when the mp3 player I installed wasn’t working. You never complained when I drove home from the gym at work without taking a shower first. You had all sorts of beverages spilled on your floor mats and yet, you were always so graceful about it. When we moved to Normal Heights together, you got picked on more than ever. I feel responsible for how badly you were treated out there every night but you stood strong and resolute. In fact, you wore those marks like proud battle scars. So I take consolation in the fact that we both loved each other for who we were.  I hope you also take consolation that I got a car dealer to buy you for $800 less than what I bought you for in 2004 which was a ridiculous deal. I know you’ll be going to greener pastures (or as they call them, “wholesale dealers”) in a few days and I hope you can forgive me for not seeing you to your end. If I had my way, I would have. But the way things were going at the negotiating table made it almost impossible to leave with both of you. I can only hope that your next friend treats you better than I treated you because I know you’ll treat them right.

I’ll never forget your beautiful heart and soul and all of our adventures together. I hope that we meet again someday (but hopefully not in some kind of collision). Maybe then, we can go to the beach or drive through the mountains one last time.

You will be missed. Gone but not forgotten. Always in my heart. Goodbye my friend.

2001 Ford Focus, April 2004- May 2011

I was listening to the “Dangerous” album on the way to school. I remember singing along and trying to figure out why I enjoyed this music so much. I tried to sing along and copy a harmony here or there but eventually I just resigned myself to listen. There was something enchanting about the music. It spoke to me, even at six years old. I still to this day can’t figure it out what it was that was.

Then I started listening to the older stuff eventually. My mom realized that I loved “Dangerous” and began playing some of his older music for me on our rides to school. It was the first time I heard him as a child in the Jackson 5. I couldn’t understand how this kid, who was almost the same age on record as I was, could do what he did.

I was seven years old, hanging out at my cousin Jenny’s house. I remember it being a warm summer day. I was bored so I started digging through my uncle’s record collection and stumbled upon “Off the Wall”. Listened to it for thirty seconds and then asked him if I could keep it. I still have it to this day.

I started really getting to know the music at about seven years old. My aunt Irma video taped a bunch of his live performances for me. Motown’s 25th Anniversary, the Super Bowl, the Thriller music video, Moonwalker, etc. I saw them all. Even made a special effort to go watch Captain EO and The Wiz. I knew that I couldn’t dance but I knew the music backwards and forwards. I knew all the moves, all the changes and all the words. I still do.

I’m not really sure why I’m so attached to Michael Jackson and his music. Maybe it’s nostalgia but his music never left my life. Even through his tougher years, I listened to him. Though I never really enjoyed anything after “Dangerous”, I remained a true fan. It was one of the first areas in my life that I really had any kind of opinion about, anything that I could say with any kind of authority that I still loved his music, regardless of what was happening in his personal life.

Fast forward to the genesis of my musical life. Michael Jackson was still there. His music still spoke to me at a primal, instinctual level. But as I started to really research the music making process and the history behind the music, I became more enamored with the legend and the legacy that he had already left. I knew that I couldn’t copy him. So instead I tried to do what everyone else does- I tried to emulate him. I’m sure you’re confused, but what I mean is that I try to bring the same magic to my music as he did with his.

Yes, he reshaped pop music, changed the importance of music videos, was one of the greatest and most successful entertainers ever. Michael Jackson, much like the Beatles and Elvis altered the direction of pop music. His music has everything. It’s got masterful production. The lyrics are consistently fantastic. The vocals are perfect with just a touch of sadness. And the vision accompanying it was never far off.

But I think it was the fact that Michael could always make you stop and listen to what he was saying. And if you didn’t want to listen, at least you could dance to it. He was the kind of performer who was a superstar and knew it, but you still called him Michael.

When I found out today that he passed away, I didn’t want to believe it. I still don’t. Having such a huge childhood influence suddenly leave your life is never easy. He influenced the world and he influenced millions of people like me. His music is woven into the fabric of who I am as a music listener and music maker. The worst part about the mourning process is that in listening to his music, you can’t help but feel a little bit better.

It may be trite to say this but it seems true now more than ever. There are many imitators, but Michael Jackson is the one true King of Pop.

You will be missed, Michael. Thank you for your music.